Sin City

As we roared down hwy 15 and crossed the border into Nevada the first thing we passed was a set of rundown outlet stores and 5th tier casinos. The most intriguing thing among them was a billboard that read: “Fully Automatic Weapons; Try Before You Buy.” I almost pulled the car off the freeway in order to fill one of my testosterone driven dreams and blow the fuck out of something with an M-16. The allure of Vegas and Mylinh rolling her eyes at me when I tried to convince her to join the fun kept me on the road and off towards Sin City.

We got to Vegas and, in a rare move to spend an extra dollar, we actually booked a hotel as opposed to camping in the desert for free. The hotel, mind you, was the Wild Wild West – no, not a hotel owned by Will Smith – but rather a clean, but extremely cheap hotel located about a ½ mile off the strip. We didn’t mind the walk because we honestly needed to burn off the weight we gained eating with my parents and at the Vegas buffets.

We set down our bags and headed off for the strip. Mylinh looked up at a sign for Zumanity and said “hey, I really want to see that.” Then, minutes later, a serendipitous moment occurred and a guy hustlin’ for New York, New York offered us cheap tickets to that very show. Of course there was a catch. We had to sit through a 2 hour presentation for a time share. We had heard of my parents doing this for free tickets and our theme for this trip is “cheap or free,” so we signed up.

We got to the timeshare sales location and were shuffled into a room with all sorts of other couples looking to get free gifts. Then we were paired up with a sales person and they began their pitch. I obviously, having no money nor interest, was not going to buy a timeshare, but I did my best to be kind to the salesperson nonetheless. However, as far as I’m concerned being kind and being honest go together. When the salesman began asking about our travel habits I kindly explained that we almost never pay more than $!0 a night and regard hostels as our favorite places to stay. Immediately he gave me a look of dread and disappointment - clearly when it came to clients his dice came up snake eyes.

After he questioned us a little about the cleanliness and hospitality offered at hostels the salesman looked at me and said “So you really think you’ll stay in hostels the rest of your life?” I quipped, “Well that or camping.” He smartly replied, “I guess you really like those squat toilets.” The sales meeting wasn’t going as he had planned. Finally half way through, he defeatedly said “well, this probably isn’t for you, but I’ve got to do my job anyway and show you the rooms.” The meeting ended well before the two hour requirement and we received $80 tickets to Zumanity for a lovely $10.

Before the show we decided to resume our original plan and hit up the Bellagio buffet. It was pricey and beyond our budget, but with at least 6 days of camping in front of us we figured it was worth it.


After shoving our faces full of beef Wellington, kobe beef, rack of lamb, sushi, Chilean sea bass and many other tasty treats Mylinh rushed off from the Bellagio buffet to get back to the hotel so we could change and nap before more drinking and Zumanity. I waddled behind her and upon finally catching up explained that she needed to slow down because I had a whole cow floating around in my stomach.

Zumanity was interesting. It was 2 parts cirque du soleil, 1 part burlesque show, 1 part strip show and worth about the $10 and 1.5hrs we spent getting the tickets. I’ll leave any boring descriptions out and just say that there were plenty of topless dancers whose parents are ruing the day they ever sent their child to dance and gymnastics lessons.

Hemorrhaging money is a favorite pastime in Vegas and we were certainly not immune to it. Now, 6 margaritas, 5 beers, 3 tequila shots, a few slot machines and one giant buffet later we have spent almost half our weekly budget. Oh well, hot dogs and s’mores the rest of the week.

Mylinh managed to lose her camera, but not her dignity.

No camera = no pictures. Sorry!